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Brutal Assault 2016 – the not so funny part of it

Category: Motorcycle Diary Last Updated: Wednesday, 14 December 2016 Print Email

I've decided I want to spend my 30th birthday at Brutal Assault festival. As I was touring around Europe on my motorcycle, all I had to do was to go there. Around August I was in Prague waiting for the festival. When the time came I jumped on my motorcycle and drove to Fortress Josefov, Czech Republic.


brutal assault, josefov fortress, czech republic

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The festival was exactly what I expected it: a lot of noise, fun people, booze, great experience. I loved it and I would do it again next year as well. What I also liked about it was the location. It is a great place to have a festival. It is huge. There are a lot of places to chill if you are tired. Bands were playing from around 11:00 until late night - if not on the central stages on the smaller ones.

The experience was great, but I have some complains to make. Some of them can be fixed next year, others maybe not. You will see why.

I arrived at the Fortress Josefov around 16:00PM. The first thing was to find the parking. There were signs so I found it quickly, but it wasn't the one for me. There were three parking places for the festival, spread around the entrance of the Fortress - I went to the designated parking lot and left my motorcycle there ... I had a lot of luggage - you can see in the image how much luggage I took with me when I left Prague. So, I parked it and then went to see the camping site and where I can install my tent. It was a 15 minutes walk with the most important stuff at me, including: helmet, jacket, pants, tank bag and GPS. I went there and they showed me the location. It was nice, but a lot to walk from the parking lot. After finding the spot, I had to go back and get everything in one go because the rain was coming and I had to be quick or be wet...


honda shadow 600, motorcycle trip, motorcycle



I managed to carry tent, sleeping bag, mattress and a 35l backpack full of stuff to the camping site. I got there wet and tired. The storm was getting very close so I started to mount the tent. I didn't have enough time to get it out and the rain started to fall like crazy. It was the first time I mounted the tent under rainy weather. Some water went in the tent, but managed to get it out quickly with a sweater I had.

I managed to set it up and arrange everything inside. I changed myself, but it was still raining so I kept the rain protection and the boots and went to the festival ground to 'check in'.

When I got there it was around 19:00PM. Still raining, but not as hard as before. I put myself in the queue to 'check in'. I waited like one hour and finally I was at the counter showing them the ticket that I had downloaded as PDF on my phone. The girl looked at me like I was from a different planet and told me: "We do not accept electronic tickets, you need to get it printed and then come back here directly." and I replied: "Oh man, what era are we living in? What is wrong with you? Everywhere I could just use the phone to check / scan my ticket, but not here. How is this possible?". She just turned around and didn't reply. I had to go to print it.

I found a small cabin (the only one for printing tickets) and there were like 20-30 people waiting there. I had to wait there for like two hours to get near the window. But the girl there was moving pretty slow because everybody had his ticket online, on the email or downloaded and it required internet connection to send it to her email or connect phone to the computer and take it from there. In the meantime I went to the tent and change and then tried to find another way to print the ticket ... the small cabin was the only place where I could print it. Got back and waited for some more time. After another two hours, I managed to be the second in line.

At this point a girl came to me and touched me on the shoulder.... "Come with me, I am in charge here, I will get you through the gates". I replied: "What the ... I don't want to leave, now I am second here and I will print it and go back ... I will not leave now". She insisted, but I didn't want to go. She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the 'check in' gates where four hours ago I couldn't check in without a printed ticket. Now it worked. I was so pissed. I was mad. I wanted to punch somebody in the face. In the same time I felt happy and relieved that I got in, after five hours of waiting in the rain and cold.

brutal assault image, brutal festival


If you are going there in the future:

  • make sure to get there early;
  • print your ticket;
  • get ready for the rain and cold;
  • bring some food / drinks with you - because money without wristband is not good;
  • do not make big plans for the first day/evening;
  • be prepared to wait.

And when I am saying "be prepared to wait" I am not referring only to the "check in" but also for topping up your wristband aka 'buying festival tokens', buying food or drinks, showering or going to the toilet.

The longest queues were on the first day/evening everywhere. After that the queue formed at the showers every morning. Queues were long and discouraging. I didn't take any showers during the festival ... instead I had with me some wet napkins that I used to keep the flies away. :))

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